Blue Funk from the BLUE JOURNAL!

I promised someone that I would post a note page from my BLUE JOURNAL..(this is not a journal that I normally share!) This is a journal that I keep for my SHADOW MUSE! There was a time where I FEARED her so much! Where I would not give her the time or space that she wanted and she would rain all over me! She would keep me down and not allow me to continue on in any direction because I would not honor her! So one day after some sage sound advice from a mentor I decided it was high time that I started to balance her with me instead of against me! So when she has something to say, I give her paper and pens and paint and allow her to journal her thoughts. Thus the BLUE JOURNAL...It is here that she can do whatever she wants to do...even muddy colors and paint with all the black and browns (colors that I do not use as a focal point!! LOL) Anyhow, since I have done this she is so much happier...she is a lot more quiet and the affirmations that she does expose to me don't quite seem as negative anymore, but more like sage advice from the crone inside of me. Once I realized that she was there to HELP not HINDER I was able to bring her home! And that is my wish for all today who venture here..that you too learn that the Shadow Muse is part of the person that you are...that she has many great lessons and advice to give you...Listen, let her show you in her way what the fear is about, where it is coming from...She really is just a part of who you really are and where you are going.
Artfully Yours,
ps: this is for you H!


Hélène Deroubaix said...

thank you so much Pattie, I feel honoured that you shared this with me:)

I think thoughts like these should be share with the teens who can't love themselves due to their Shadow muse or inside brat child that keeps yelling for answers,understanding,acceptance and love...craving for attention.
Sometimes we get to uncaring or judgemental with them.

When I was a teen things like that would have helped me a lot more, but thanks Goddess I had poetry to release the anger,pain and sadness.

I wrote so many self hatred poems where I would slash myself, tear up my being,burn my essence it was another kind of Love I gave to me because I just couldn't love myself.

I would see and feel no love for me around me,I couldn't sense Love for me neither imagine or believe it,so I never accepted it from others and that led me to the downward spiral...

you could/should write books Pattie( if you've not ever done), or just put these kind of thoughts on a bench,in a bus,in a book at the library ,it might touch and help another soul!

you are beautiful and wise!
thanks for sharing!

Pattie Mosca said...

Thank you so much...I have hesitated to share this journal because of the content, which is the darker side of me...(this is a gentle piece!) but after reading your post I realize (and I guess I did know this) that perhaps this blog looks a little one-sided and fairy-landish! Because like everyone I too have the "blue funk" days, I have just taught myself a way that works for me to handle them better so that I can listen to what it is that my heart is saying! And ask the questions that I need my heart to answer, and take credit for the things I know to be truth.
Thank you so much for sharing with me..
Artfully Yours,